Save yourself the time;don't read.

Can't say I didn't warn you...

I think I've been really good about not complaining about all this stuff up to now, but well. Sorry, I'm breaking that record.

I hate:

I hate how I knew something was going to happen, but didn't have the power to change it before it happened.
I hate how I wrote a blog about the whole deal about a week and a half before it all became reality, and I sounded angry at dad.
I hate how no matter how hard I try I can't bring myself to delete that post.
I hate how this one thing has affected not just my life, but the life's of all my friends and loved ones. Not that I can necessarily deal with it happening to me, but it would just be easier then. Now I feel like i've let everyone down.
I hate how i'm only mad at myself for dad dieing, when I shouldn't be mad at anyone. I hate how I can't realize that I tried and failed. At least this time I tried, instead of with mom. So I shouldn't be mad at all.
I hate how it was so simular to the mom thing.Dad fell, died right there. Mom fell, died right there. Doesn't seem fair.
I hate how I'm living in stupid Houston.
I hate how I can't talk to anyone about this because they are way back in west columbia, and everytime when I say anything negative I feel like I'm being some huge whiny whore.
I hate how I'm always so tired but I can never seem to sleep. It just doens't match up.
I hate how I can feel perfectly fine, but then have one thought about what happened and suddenly be on the ground crying. It doesn't match up either.
I hate how I have to get new stuff. Why can't I just keep my old stuff...I mean, it sucked. But at least it was the same.
I hate how I'm not upset enough about this. I'm too happy. I shouldn't be happy.
I hate how I'm sitting here writing this stupid list because It's so whiny and depressing.
End of list.

THE END.