Popcorn.

I really hate this.

Dad's so sick. And I've been trying to ignore it, but that sucks and is just making things worse on my end.
I don't know what's wrong with him other than his body is retaining a whole bunch of water. And his blood pressure is like sky-rocketing. And his weight is going way up because of the retained water and everything...
And he can't get around because his legs are all swollen because of the blood pressure/water, so he has to sit around all day. So he's just getting more sick. And his weight is just getting worse. And he's smoking more cigarettes because he's so stressed, and that's just making his breathing even worse.
And its just this really huge mess and I hate it.
I have tried so many times to get him to go to the doctor, but he won't. He's too stubborn to do anything about it.

And I'm already starting to miss him always being annoying and getting up out of his chair every two seconds to tell me to get off the computer.[He can't really walk around a lot anymore...and he sleeps all the time. So uh. it's been a few weeks since he's done this]
ITS HORRIBLE!
Why do I miss that? I used to HATE IT.

And I really don't know what's going to come of all this. Maybe it's nothing serious, but it sure seems serious. And gahh.
Why won't he go to the darn doctor?

I mean...the way it was with mom; we didn't know that what was happening was serious, and then BAM. She was gone.
And I DONT want that to happen to dad. I keep trying to tell him this but he always shoots back with "Well, hun. If anything happens then I'll just go be with your momma so it will be okay"
No dad, it won't be okay.
I know you miss mom. I know you do, I miss her too. But you've got three kids down here who desperately need a dad. And you've got a daughter who would seriously die if anything happened.
I don't know what I would do. I don't. I don't even want to think about it.

Gahh. Is it really that hard to just go to a damn doctor and get things figured out? And I mean. He's miserable. Why would he just sit there on the couch all day being so miserable if he could be well. And if he could be out there like...living and crap.
fdsjafjdsjakfjdsa

And ohmygod what if something happens?
Okay, crap. Crap crap crap.
I told myself I wouldn't blog or talk about any of this. And uh, look at that.Agh.
Sorry.
I'll shut up now.
It might not even be anything...I'm probably just being stupid and taking things way out of proportion.

THE END.
[p.s]...
Anyone have an idea on how I can get him to go see a doctor?...